Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Day the Universe Changed

I listened to my first book-on-tape today during my 18km walk. I knew I was going to need something to take my mind off of the pain that was sure to set in somewhere around the halfway point of my walk, and thought a history book-on-tape would do the trick.
Sure enough, it worked like a charm.
I listened to The Day the Universe Changed, by James Burke. It's amazing how much you can learn in a little over 2 hours. (I didn't listen to the whole 3 hours.) The subtitle to the book is "Pivotal Moments in Time That Radically Altered the Course of Human History" which I think sums up quite handily the gist of the book. Burke moves flawlessly through time, weaving a narrative that ties everything together, from science, religion, and politics to art, architecture and music. I never realized how cohesive history is. I tend to think in terms of individual, defining moments, but have never quite seen the big picture - how we got to where we are.
I would definitely recommend this book-on-tape to anyone with even a bit of interest in history.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Spring Has Sprung

It's official. Two sunburns, my first barbecued smokie-on-a-bun, and a lunch hour spent reading in the park confirms it. Spring is here, and it almost feels like Summer.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Aahhh...home sweet home

The wind is fierce, the air is damp. The city lays under thick cloudcover.

I love coming home on days like today. Walking into my warm home, greeted at the door by my cat. Knowing that I don't have to leave again until tomorrow. Changing into comfy clothes and deciding to make something simple for supper. Thinking that maybe I'll eat my chocolate cake and ice cream first, and start that new book that's been sitting by my bed.
I couldn't be happier.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Little Hands

We talk lately about how big they're getting, how old they seem. My nephew can read so well and my niece is an amazing little artist.
But when I grasped their hands to say say grace at supper the other night, I was struck by how small they were. These little hands, so soft and full of the essence of childhood.
Little hands clenching a pencil to draw a picture - a picture that can be anything you want it to be, because when you're 5 there are no rules yet. You are only limited by your imagination, and if you want to sign your name backwards, now is the time.
Little hands that follow along the page as you learn to read and your vocabulary grows by leaps and bounds.
Little hands that fidget when you're nervous and gesture animatedly when you tell stories.

When it seems like they're growing so fast and getting bigger every time I see them, I have only to take their little hands in mine to put things back into perspective.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Getting Old

There's a scene in the movie The Guardian (that I recently watched) that I just love, that speaks about getting older. The (older female) bartender is talking to the (older male) coastguard instructor and has this to say:

"Hell, I've always been old, Ben. You know what though? I don't mind.
I mean, if my muscles ache it's cause I've used 'em. It's hard for me to walk up them steps now cause I walked up 'em every night to lay next to a man who loved me.
I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I've laid under a thousand skies
on sunny days.
I look and feel this way, well, cause I drank and I smoked, I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way through a pretty damn good life.
Gettin old ain't bad man; getting old - that's earned."

I love the sentiment behind those words. These days nobody wants to get old, or to look like they're getting older. They want to be young eternally, instead of celebrating a life well lived. Maybe I think this way because I'm still (relatively) young, but I hope I can always embrace whatever season of life I'm in, and be proud of what's come before and hopeful for what lays ahead.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

walking

I had a "refocusing" moment the other day when I was walking. It was a 4 km day, (in my half marathon training) and I was kind of dragging my butt. I really didn't feel like walking; my hip was very sore, my hands were freezing, and my glasses kept fogging up. I was looking forward to being done this stupid half marathon and not having to walk on assigned days anymore. I was over halfway done when I turned the corner to head west.
And came face to face with a beautiful pink sunset. It was quite cloudy, which served to give texture and weight to the light. It was so wonderful I had to stop and watch for awhile.
I absolutely love the sky, and upon seeing this brushstroke of beauty at the end of the day, I realized how long it's been since I've sat and gazed at the sky.
All of a sudden I remembered why I like walking - because it's a different way of seeing the world. Walking is about exploration and taking your time.

It's about strolling, meandering, wandering, rambling, and in general not being in a rush.
It's about having time to think, or as is more common with myself, having not to think. [Aside: I found myself many times this winter listening to the sounds of my boots crunching on snow, and my darth vader-like breathing (trying to suck air through both my buff and balaclava). Try as I might to make "good use" of this time, I nearly always ended up with a mind clear of everything. Which, now that I'm thinking about it, was maybe the best use of that time. Every other minute of my day seems crammed with so many sporadic, disjointed thoughts, perhaps a calm, focused mind is what I need the most.]

With the sunset came the renewal of my desire to walk; a renewal of my desire to wander, and to see things I might otherwise miss.

Thank you, God, for that ethereal art in the sky.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Me, Myself, and I

Musings..

Thinking about my "inner" person. Not my inner child or my spiritual self, but just how I see myself but don't necessarily express myself. I've realized that my inner sense of fashion and being is somewhat bohemian hippie. I don't dress to that effect, nor do I act in that manner, but I suppose if I had to pick a visualization for what I want to embody, that is it. I'm not the fashion conscious girl to whom the words stylish, sophisticated or glamorous apply. I'm cute, funny, and a little bit quirky, and should I ever get married, it will be to someone who recognizes those qualities in me. I would rather be the recycling, earth conscious, natural fiber, "granola" type than the resident fashionista. I'm the girl who goes to the library every day on my lunch break because I love to read that much. And because the people there don't care much that I come in wearing my old style, slightly dorky-looking earmuffs.

The definition I like best for bohemian is "a nonconformist writer or artist who lives an unconventional life."

And this is the hippie I imagine: "someone who rejects the established culture."

There are other definitions for these words but I found they did not apply to what I see as myself. Not that these definitions particular define who I am at the moment, but perhaps who I want to be.
The definition of hippie reminds me of passage from "Tuesdays with Morrie."

"You have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own." I like that, and I think I've probably quoted it before.

My second musing is actually just a quote I like from a book I just finished reading. The book is "Rebuilt: How Becoming Part Computer Made Me More Human" by Michael Chorost, and I like what it says about life:

"Depending on your interests, you can go this way or that way, and if you choose to go that way, you will never find out what you might have discovered had you gone this way. Whichever way you choose, you will leave huge areas of the cave forever unexplored and unlit."

Saturday, February 10, 2007

walking

In summer, walking is exercise. In winter, walking is an experience.
In summer, you throw on some shorts, socks and a t-shirt, a pair of runners and you're ready to go.
In winter, it goes like this...
leggings, tucked into socks
fleece pants over leggings
long sleeve t-shirt
short sleeve t-shirt
tech pants (sort of like ski pants)
t-shirt tucked into tech pants
sweatshirt
buff
balaclava
jacket with hood
runners
mittens.
And then you're ready to go.

Am I looking forward to Spring, warm weather, and clear sidewalks?
You betcha.
I figure if I can walk 7 kms in -30 degrees, bundled up like I'm walking to the North Pole, trying not to slip on the ice or be hit by a car, vainly trying to see through the one spot on my glasses that hasn't frozen over, walking 21 kms in May should not pose a problem.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Three R's

I read an article in the paper this last week about resolutions and the 3 Rs - reduce, reuse, and recycle. Most people I know do pretty well with the recycle part, but the article encouraged increased participation in the other 2 as well. It was an affirmation of one of my resolutions for this new year - to be less of a consumer, and to reuse as much as I can.
As far as consumerism goes, I want to try to buy only those things that I need and specifically set out to buy - and not all the other junk I sometimes come home with; to spend less money on impulse purchases. This is for two reasons. One, I want to try and get back on a budget, which automatically means spending less, and two, I've just grown tired of having so much "stuff" in my house. I'm somewhat disorganized and am frequently frustrated at not being able to find things because they are buried somewhere under all that "stuff." I know if I just put things away I would be able to find them easier next time, but also I get tired of all the piles of stuff there is to put away.
As for reusing things, I'm trying to do this in small ways, like washing the disposable cutlery I use at work instead of throwing it out after one use. The article also suggested giving old magazines to places that could use them in their waiting rooms, instead of recycling them as soon as we're done with them. Also, it's time to go through my clothes and bring a bag to the Salvation Army. I also want to try shopping there more this year, in part to reuse clothing, and also to save some money. (And because my mom and sister always seem to find awesome stuff there for a fraction of the retail cost!)

So, having been challenged myself, I'll pass it along to you - reduce, reuse, and recycle in 2007!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Snow Day

What a blizzard. Icy roads blanketed in thick snow, white-out conditions, frozen up windshield. The drive home from work today was the most stressful driving experience of my life. Perhaps even one of the most stressful experiences I've had, period. I almost cried when I finally pulled into my parking spot, an hour and a half after leaving work (normally a 15-20 min drive). I was quite shaky and just had to sit there for a minute before getting out. I helped push someone into the parking lot shortly after I got home, and witnessed several other people helping to free stuck vehicles as well. It's nice to see people come together and help others when the going gets tough (or in this case, when the going gets cold and slippery).
I was also able to locate my shovel, which was buried deep in the snow in the backyard. I have a feeling I may need it tomorrow.
I'm feeling very thankful for a safe drive home and that I have a home to come to.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Done, I think.

I just finished reading my 41st book of the year. Titled "Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year," by Anne Lamott, it was 251 pages of pure, raw emotion. Lamott is 35 and single when she has a baby boy. The book is a record of her journey with Sam (her son) through his first year. As a former addict to both drugs and alcohol, and also a firm believer in God, she comes at life in a rather unconventional way. Her fear and pain bleed through the pages as she talks about her best friend getting cancer (she passes away a couple of months after Sam's 3rd birthday), about losing her dad to brain cancer many years earlier, and about how she longs for Sam to have a dad.
Interspersed with the fear, and the pain, and the worry, are the hilarious moments, and the incredibly precious moments. Lamott revels in her son's every new development - waving goodbye, learning to crawl, the first time he ate a plum, dancing, babbling from the carseat. There is a sense of urgency about her life, as she feels everything so deeply and experiences such great highs and lows in one year.
Definitely one of my favorite books of the last 12 months.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Advertising

I heard a commercial on the radio today:

"Self-indulgence is not a luxury, it's a necessity."

Makes me want to boycott radio and tv just to avoid all the "me-first, I-deserve-the-best-of-everything" advertising.

Self-indulgence has become a god in our culture these days. How often do you hear "indulge yourself" in one form or another throughout the day...be it expensive cars, a cottage at the lake, a day at the spa, a new flat panel LCD tv...or even something as simple as chocolate.

And I think all of these things are well and good, but slowly the message has become you deserve, no, you need these things. That's what I take issue with; not the thing itself, but the pressure to have it all.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Blessed

I am blessed.
I am blessed for so many reasons, but particularly at this time of year I am blessed because Christmas is a happy time for me.
I am blessed to have family close by with whom I will get together on Christmas day and eat, laugh, open presents, and share life with.
I am blessed by friends with whom I will also get together and eat, laugh, open presents and share life with.
I am blessed with great co-workers, and a job where I get a Christmas bonus. A job where we can get together and have a fantastic food day (such as today!); where people are easy-going this time of year and work just doesn't really seem like work for a little while.
I am blessed to go to an awesome church, where we will gather tomorrow night and celebrate God sending His Son to earth, and all the myriad things that means for us.
I am blessed.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Thankful

I feel thankful for so much...
my friends
my family
my job and my co-workers
my home (with the Christmas tree I put up tonight)
money to buy Christmas presents (I've enjoyed shopping a lot this year - how wonderful to have a time of year to celebrate the people in our lives)
my reliable car
my cat who makes me smile and keeps me company
my computer that allows me to keep in touch with friends
the thick frost that covered the trees on my way to church Sunday morning, along with the sundog in the sky (first time I'd ever seen one!)
and so much more...
Thank you God!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I love my cat

I love my cat.
Just thought I'd share that.
She came upstairs to find me, and is currently sitting on my lap, purring so loudly, her head resting between my hands as I type.
sigh....she likes me...she really likes me!

panicky

I can't believe it's already December 7. I know people are always talking about how fast time goes, but I think this is especially true in December. Every year I say I'm going to get all my shopping done early and take the whole month of December to celebrate the season, but here it is, already Dec 7 and my tree still isn't up. I don't have any lights or decorations put out yet, but am determined to get them up sometime between now and the end of Sunday. I have a few presents yet to buy, all of them to wrap, chocolates and cards to make and mail, and oh how I feel stress and panic trying to worm their way into my life.
So here's what I'm going to do. I am going to celebrate Christmas, every day for the next 18 or so days....in one way or another. Tonight I am going to read the Christmas story for the first (but probably not the last) time this month.
Merry Christmas.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Sandi Thom

I discovered a great new artist the other day on the Galaxy music channel - Sandi Thom. I heard her song "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker" and checked her out on iTunes. I bought the CD today and loved it the very first listen-through.
Awesome.

Driving Lessons

I almost ran myself over with my own car today. True Story.
I parked by the mailboxes, unclicked the part of my keychain that holds my mail key, got out and collected my mail.
Here's where it gets a little dicey.
As I was rounding the front of my car it started driving towards me. That's right. Towards me and also heading towards the huge metal garbage cans. Not even rolling. Driving. I opened the door and jumped in, jamming my foot on the brake, quite heroically I thought. (Although perhaps straining a groin muscle in the process.) Looking down, I realized that I had left the car in drive.
Yes...in drive.
Did I mention it took me three tries to get my driver's license?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

It's all in the Adjectives

I was at Nutter's today buying chocolate melts for Nicole and me - it must be Christmas! Because it certainly is Winter. The ruts in the parking lot were, I'm sure, Olympic quality moguls. No kidding.

While at Nutter's I picked up some Real Brew Draft Root Beer, and boy was it good! I used to collect bottles of all sorts (which are now in storage at my parents' house) and I admit I was drawn to this particular beverage because of the description on the bottle:
" A complex flavour of sweet birch, licorice root, sarsaparilla, cinnamon, clove, anise, and wintergreen"
"A draft root beer unlike any other. To give our root beer a subtly rich, creamy flavour, we add pure bourbon vanilla to our recipe"
How could I not pick up a bottle?

I've recently discovered CBC Radio 3 (independent Canadian artists) on the internet, and one of the new songs I heard has been playing in my head ever since. It's by a group called Two Hours Traffic, and the song is "Better Sorry than Safe." It's got me thinking about risk taking, and how sometimes its better to take a chance and have it not work out than to be safe and never risk anything.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

If You Are Wise

I was cleaning out my closet tonight when I found a poem I'd long forgotten, by William Arthur Ward. It's quite long so I won't reprint the whole thing, but it's called "If You Are Wise" and there are so many lines that challenge me. The three main themes are

If you are wise...
you will forget yourself into greatness
you will empty yourself into adventure
you will lose yourself into immortality.

Under each of these, the admonition to

Forget your inconveniences, but remember your blessings.
Empty your days of the search for security; fill them with a passion for service.
Lose your cynicism. Lose your doubts. Lose your fears. Lose your anxiety. Lose your unbelief.