This I Know

Some observations from tonight...

~ I don't like it when appliances go on the fritz, because I know nothing about what might be wrong with them. My first resource is to pray that God will make the problem go away, and I have to say that many things have been fixed this way. I'm afraid that my washing machine will need an actual repairman, however.

~ You shouldn't eat 2 burritos and then run 5 km.

~ I like to run in the rain.

~ I can run 5 km in 30 min (new record for myself).

~ Some people are good at writing books, and some people aren't. Just having a story to tell doesn't make you a writer. If you're bound and determined to get your story on paper, perhaps you should have someone else write it for you. (I'm thinking specifically about 2 books - one that I just finished that was absolutely inspiring, and one that reads like a high school essay and has quite a negative feel. Both books are on the same subject, making it easier to compare them.)

~ I'm very glad there's a long weekend coming up.

No Spring Chicken

I climbed, tumbled, and slid. I rolled, jumped, and crawled. Most of all, I realized that I am no longer a kid. My twitching forearms reminded me that I sit at a desk all day, and am not used to hauling myself up and through plastic tunnels.
I accompanied my 5-year-old niece through the tunnels and slides of the Fun Factory play structure today. Technically it can fit and support an adult, but I sure had to bend my body in ways it is not used to, to make it fit!
Having said that, though, I have to admit it was also fun. There's something special about just playing; climbing, sliding, crawling and laughing. Forgetting for a few moments about the housework, laundry, and bills.
Pretending that you're five again.
Thanks, Tori, for inviting me to play with you.

Semantics

...still studying Excel, and smiling at the phrase "exploding pie piece." Who knew that could refer to data charts? (Probably a lot of people, but that's beside the point.)

Mmmm....pie....

One Day at a Time

I'm taking a class on Excel and am in the midst of learning about functions. Putting my newfound knowledge to good use, I calculated that I am 10,745 days old.
Somehow that actually seems a lot less than 29 years.

King of All Farmer's Markets

I spent a few days in Calgary this past week, and discovered a new favorite store - The Calgary Farmer's Market. Ikea has nothing on this paradise of fresh produce, homemade goods, imported treasures, and the best gelato in the country. Mmmmm...if you ever go, you must try the mango gelato from the gelato place (I don't remember the name of the booth). It is the creamiest concoction, and I'm sure it must be 98% mangoes, it's that flavorful.
I also happened upon a Christmas present for my sister. It's something I've been looking for for awhile, and wouldn't you know, it was at the farmer's market. (I think this was the moment the CFM moved into the #1 spot in my mind.) Also on the menu that day was a fabulous Ukrainian lunch of perogies and sour cream, schnitzel and sauerkraut, cabbage rolls and fresh squeezed lemonade.
Those of you who know me well, know that I also tend to be a bit of a collector, and at the moment my fetish is trying different kinds of root beer and ginger ale, (adding the bottle to my collection once said drink has been consumed.) I was pleased to find a root beer from Quebec with the label on upside down. Excellent.
Finally, being a bit of a honey buff as well, I spent several minutes at the Golden Lane Honey booth. I sampled various flavours of honey before settling on the orange blossom unpasteurized honey bear. I haven't cracked it open yet, as I still have a bottle and a half of the stuff I imported from Florida last year.

The rest of my trip was filled with some time at Ikea (where I managed to spend all of $7), a morning run along the Bow river, a drive out to Canmore for the day, a delightful movie experience (went to see Hairspray), and a lot of relaxing.
A good time was had by all.

Gnarly

Pop!

Once upon a time, in a far away land

Saskatchewan

Sunburst

From the car window, en route to Canmore

Shout Out

A big thank you to my friend Sherri, who at the last minute said she would come over and feed my cat while I'm away in Calgary.
I'm sure Isabelle will be pleased, as I think Sherri is her favorite person in the whole world!

Unbelievable.

I found my camera. After spending all of my bike money on a new one.
Unbelievable.

Stick a Fork in Me, I'm Done

After a slightly disappointing couple of days at Waskesiu last weekend, Nicole and I had the perfect day at the lake today. We drove to Martin's Lake this morning, a pleasant hour and a bit drive. We spent the better part of the day in the water on our floaties, sunning ourselves and talking. The little concession on the beach provided our lunch, and the other people provided our entertainment.
Martin's Lake is very much a family place, and there were lots of kids having a ball. The beach was not too crowded, and the lake had a nice sandy bottom. In the swimming area, that is. We tethered ourselves to a buoy that was unfortunately surrounded by seaweed and a very mucky, sinky bottom. I'm sure it was quite comical to watch us float ourselves over to the buoy and tie our rope around it, all the while trying not to touch the lake floor.
The only downside of today is the lobster look I'm now sporting, thanks to too much sun and not quite enough sunscreen.
Oh well, break out the aloe vera I say.

Milestone

I am on week 5 of my learn-to-run schedule, (4 sets of run 4/walk 1 = 20min) and I reached a milestone tonight. I have been running the same course for the last month, but tonight it was not long enough. There were 2 minutes left in my last set when I got to the end of my route! I felt totally in the zone and had a strong, fast run.
I feel...satisfied, in the richest sense of the word.

Impromptu

I am so excited to be going to Waskesiu this weekend! The idea occurred just this afternoon around 3:00 and plans were made quickly thereafter.
Nicole and I were thinking about going to a lake for the day to enjoy the warm weather that is expected. On a whim she phoned one of the hotels at Waskesiu. Turns out they had one room left and it was reasonably priced. So now we'll be able to enjoy the entire day and the next in beautiful surroundings. Yay!

From The Bookshelf Of...

I usually have about a dozen library books piled on my dresser, most of which never get read because I just don't have that much time. This last week, however, I was on holidays and you'd think that would be the perfect time to lose myself in a few books. But no. I had one library book out. One. And I just couldn't get into it.
Now this doesn't necessarily mean I didn't have anything to read. I have many books on my shelves at home that are unread. The problem being, I thought, that they are by and large non-fiction, which just doesn't captivate (usually) as well as fiction.
The first book I picked up was one I had started awhile back and had only read a couple pages.
It was fantastic.
Fabulous.
Wonderful.
It was sweet and delicious and real, with an unexpected heartbreak at the end that squeezes you just so until you can't breathe and have to put it down before finishing.
The book was "A Thousand Days in Tuscany" by Marlena De Blasi. A book about the life and people of rural Tuscany and the food that brings them together. At the end of each chapter was a recipe from within the stories Marlena had just told. It is about love and simplicity; about a way of life that seems foreign and exotic and rich all at once.
It is a book I would recommend to anyone, but particularly those that like to live their books - to smell and feel and care about what's going on.

My second pick was from the rathy skimpy fiction shelf. A long time ago I'd bought and started to read "Velocity" by Dean Koontz. I'm not a Koontz fan, but the premise of this book intrigued me. A man gets a note under the windshield of his car one night...
"If you don't take this note to the police...I will kill a lovely blond schoolteacher...If you do...I will instead kill an elderly woman active in charity work. You have six hours to decide. The choice is yours."
I thought it would be an interesting book about moral choices, but instead it was filled with macabre deaths and no sunlight. It was one of my least favorite books in a long time.

Today I picked out another non-fiction work which is turning out to be a real gem. It is "Banvard's Folly" by Paul Collins. It is about thirteen people who didn't change the world. Famous and some infamous in their time, they are nevertheless people that you've probably never heard about before. John Banvard leads off the selection as the richest artist in the world in his time. He spent 2 years in the mid 1800's sailing down the Mississippi River, sketching it as he went. Upon his return home he painted a fantastic 3 mile long panorama of it, which he then presented at shows (the first style of "moving picture") in the United States and Europe. He eventually lost his great fortune when he attempted to compete with P.T. Barnum in the museum business.
I am on the fourth story in the book and am greatly entertained and enthralled by these fantastic stories that I've never heard before.
It's one thing to read a biography about someone you're somewhat familiar with, and quite another to read about the amazing things done by someone completely unknown to you.
I would recommend this book to anyone with a curious mind.

Droplets

The Quote's For You

"Whatever it was, I knew it would be all right, or it wouldn't be all right, but it would be part of the same unbroken line we were all walking in, which is, of course, the real lesson...And we danced too wild, and we sang too long, and we hugged too hard, and kissed too sweet...because by now we were all old enough to know that what looks like crazy on an ordinary day looks a lot like love if you catch it in the moonlight."

-What Looks Like Crazy On An Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage

---

"I believe God is a librarian. I believe that literature is holy...it is that best part of our souls that we break off and give each other, and God has a special dispensation for it, angels to guard its making and its preservation."

- Chasing Shakespeares by Sarah Smith (pg 136)

Happy/Sad

I am so excited about my new camera! I lost my digital camera about 2 1/2 months ago (I think), and have been looking forward to getting a new one. It was either that or a new bike, and since I do have a bike that works, I thought I'd spurge on a new camera. (And in the tradition of some friends who name their bikes, I now christen mine "Old Faithful." I think she's earned it!)
The camera is a Panasonic LZ7, and I love it! It's black and small, but not so small that I'll lose it (!) and has 6x optical zoom, which was the major selling feature for me. Now I'll have to sit down one night and work my way through the instruction manual and see what this baby can do!

On a different note, I was sad to read today that Jason Lawlor passed away. I went to school with him for a few years, around grades 5-8 or so. I remember him as a happy, athletic, cocky kid, and was sad to hear a little while ago that he had cancer. His friends set up a Facebook group for him and provided updates about how he was doing. Today they sent out a notice to everyone letting them know of Jason's passing. He will be greatly missed.

Observations on a Wednesday Evening

If I was a cashier at a grocery store, I would always wonder about the things people buy. Especially close to closing time. And especially when they only buy one item. They came all the way to the store, for one thing. So you gotta think that it's pretty important. The guy in front of me tonight had only dishwasher detergent. Not all that interesting, but still, you know he's going home to run the dishwasher. Tonight. Maybe he has important company coming over tomorrow morning and the dishes have to be done tonight.
And then there's me with my honeydew melon, all natural yogurt, and apples.
Oh yeah, and a huge bag of ripple chips and dip! Because you can't be healthy all the time.

I helped to weed at the church tonight for 2 1/2 hours.
I feel strangely ambivalent about it. I didn't hate it. Didn't love it.
It's strange to feel completely neutral about something.
Hmmm...not much to talk about there.

Well I had a bunch of thoughts in my head before I sat down, but they seem to have disappeared on me. Oh well. Better get back to my chips and dip.

A New Favorite

I just finished watching "The Holiday."
I think it is my new favorite. Charming, funny, moving, happy, it was perfect. It's one of those movies that leaves you feeling good about life. And perhaps wanting to go on a holiday and fall in love with a handsome stranger!

It was the perfect end to a great day. I biked and walked for about 2 1/2 hours this afternoon,and then came home and had a nap. I love afternoon naps.

Now I should go and apply some more aloe vera to my lobster-like shoulders, and hope that this burn doesn't blister.

Summer Musings

I was reminded by a friend the other day that it's been awhile since I've written anything, so here goes.

Today, I am happy.

I am so looking forward to this summer. I have a few plans that I am excited about, but mostly I'm looking forward to lots of walking, running, riding my bike, and hanging out with friends. I am on holidays soon and have been looking for the perfect book to read during my week off. I think I found it today. It is The Sword of Shannara Trilogy, 25th Anniversary Edition, hardcover. I think this book is hefty enough to be called a tome. It is actually 3 books bound in one (hence "trilogy"), and I would have preferred to read the paperback versions but, alas, they were out. It weighs in at 1191 pages and approximately 5 pounds. It feels like the kind of book a person could easily lose themselves in for a week, which is what I plan to do. Although I'm certain I will not finish it in one week!

I'm not usually a huge fan of country music, but when summertime rolls around it seems like my genre of choice. When the temperature hits double digits and the sun is hot in the sky, I love to listen to either Keith Urban or Brad Paisley in the car. I think my song of the day today would be "I Could Fly" by Keith Urban.

I Can Walk a Kilometre

Tomorrow I will be walking my first-ever half marathon. That's 21.1 km. Nicole and I drove the route tonight to get a feel for it.
It's far.
Really far.
I'm excited for the race, but I also can't wait until it's over.
Now I must get to bed.

Another Place to Visit

The month of April was a good reading month for me. It was an all non-fiction month, and all four books would make my top 10 for this year.
I read:
Revenge of the Paste Eaters by Cheryl Peck
Back From the Dead by Joan M. Cheever
What Remains by Carole Radziwill
On a Street Called Easy, In a Cottage Called Joy by Gregory White Smith and Steven Naifeh.

A memoir, stories of men freed from their death sentences, another (very moving and at times incredibly emotional) memoir, and a comedy about renovating a house (if you can call 20,000 square feet simply a house).

And now I find myself in the midst of another book that I don't want to end. It's called Inside the Postal Bus: My Ride with Lance Armstrong and the U.S. Postal Cycling Team by Michael Barry. I didn't know much at all about cycling before picking up this book, but would now consider myself a fan of the sport. I love learning about new things, and can now add another place to my list of "places I want to see because I've read about them" - I would love to go to France to see the Tour de France. (Perhaps I can work this in when I go to Venice, Italy.)

One of the things that amazes me about cycling is the degree of selflessness it takes. Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France 6 times, but only because he had such an amazing team around him. There are 9 riders on a tour team, and each is selected for the strengths he possesses.

"The team that was formed around Lance was the strongest unit in the race. There were riders within the team with the ability to race for stage victories or a top place in the final overall classification, but they dedicated all of their energy to helping Lance get to Paris in the yellow jersey at the end of July. The most important factor in selecting the Tour team is that each member has a sole objective: help Lance win the Tour. Nobody has personal ambitions, and the mentality is all for one." [Italics mine]

That blows me away. It's pretty rare in professional sports to see top notch athletes willing to give it all they've got so that someone else can get all the glory. I think that's what has given me such a new found respect for the sport.

Disappointment

I went to see the new Spiderman movie last night. Unfortunately.
Total cheeseball. I believe the word I am looking for is "fromage."
The acting was almost painful to watch at some points, it was so second-rate. Even the special effects could not save it, as the action sequences were often blurry and the camera jumped around enough to make you dizzy.
If I had to recommend it, I would say it's definitely a renter and not a $10-a-ticket theatre quality movie.

The Day the Universe Changed

I listened to my first book-on-tape today during my 18km walk. I knew I was going to need something to take my mind off of the pain that was sure to set in somewhere around the halfway point of my walk, and thought a history book-on-tape would do the trick.
Sure enough, it worked like a charm.
I listened to The Day the Universe Changed, by James Burke. It's amazing how much you can learn in a little over 2 hours. (I didn't listen to the whole 3 hours.) The subtitle to the book is "Pivotal Moments in Time That Radically Altered the Course of Human History" which I think sums up quite handily the gist of the book. Burke moves flawlessly through time, weaving a narrative that ties everything together, from science, religion, and politics to art, architecture and music. I never realized how cohesive history is. I tend to think in terms of individual, defining moments, but have never quite seen the big picture - how we got to where we are.
I would definitely recommend this book-on-tape to anyone with even a bit of interest in history.

Spring Has Sprung

It's official. Two sunburns, my first barbecued smokie-on-a-bun, and a lunch hour spent reading in the park confirms it. Spring is here, and it almost feels like Summer.

Aahhh...home sweet home

The wind is fierce, the air is damp. The city lays under thick cloudcover.

I love coming home on days like today. Walking into my warm home, greeted at the door by my cat. Knowing that I don't have to leave again until tomorrow. Changing into comfy clothes and deciding to make something simple for supper. Thinking that maybe I'll eat my chocolate cake and ice cream first, and start that new book that's been sitting by my bed.
I couldn't be happier.

Little Hands

We talk lately about how big they're getting, how old they seem. My nephew can read so well and my niece is an amazing little artist.
But when I grasped their hands to say say grace at supper the other night, I was struck by how small they were. These little hands, so soft and full of the essence of childhood.
Little hands clenching a pencil to draw a picture - a picture that can be anything you want it to be, because when you're 5 there are no rules yet. You are only limited by your imagination, and if you want to sign your name backwards, now is the time.
Little hands that follow along the page as you learn to read and your vocabulary grows by leaps and bounds.
Little hands that fidget when you're nervous and gesture animatedly when you tell stories.

When it seems like they're growing so fast and getting bigger every time I see them, I have only to take their little hands in mine to put things back into perspective.

Getting Old

There's a scene in the movie The Guardian (that I recently watched) that I just love, that speaks about getting older. The (older female) bartender is talking to the (older male) coastguard instructor and has this to say:

"Hell, I've always been old, Ben. You know what though? I don't mind.
I mean, if my muscles ache it's cause I've used 'em. It's hard for me to walk up them steps now cause I walked up 'em every night to lay next to a man who loved me.
I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I've laid under a thousand skies
on sunny days.
I look and feel this way, well, cause I drank and I smoked, I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way through a pretty damn good life.
Gettin old ain't bad man; getting old - that's earned."

I love the sentiment behind those words. These days nobody wants to get old, or to look like they're getting older. They want to be young eternally, instead of celebrating a life well lived. Maybe I think this way because I'm still (relatively) young, but I hope I can always embrace whatever season of life I'm in, and be proud of what's come before and hopeful for what lays ahead.

walking

I had a "refocusing" moment the other day when I was walking. It was a 4 km day, (in my half marathon training) and I was kind of dragging my butt. I really didn't feel like walking; my hip was very sore, my hands were freezing, and my glasses kept fogging up. I was looking forward to being done this stupid half marathon and not having to walk on assigned days anymore. I was over halfway done when I turned the corner to head west.
And came face to face with a beautiful pink sunset. It was quite cloudy, which served to give texture and weight to the light. It was so wonderful I had to stop and watch for awhile.
I absolutely love the sky, and upon seeing this brushstroke of beauty at the end of the day, I realized how long it's been since I've sat and gazed at the sky.
All of a sudden I remembered why I like walking - because it's a different way of seeing the world. Walking is about exploration and taking your time.

It's about strolling, meandering, wandering, rambling, and in general not being in a rush.
It's about having time to think, or as is more common with myself, having not to think. [Aside: I found myself many times this winter listening to the sounds of my boots crunching on snow, and my darth vader-like breathing (trying to suck air through both my buff and balaclava). Try as I might to make "good use" of this time, I nearly always ended up with a mind clear of everything. Which, now that I'm thinking about it, was maybe the best use of that time. Every other minute of my day seems crammed with so many sporadic, disjointed thoughts, perhaps a calm, focused mind is what I need the most.]

With the sunset came the renewal of my desire to walk; a renewal of my desire to wander, and to see things I might otherwise miss.

Thank you, God, for that ethereal art in the sky.

Me, Myself, and I

Musings..

Thinking about my "inner" person. Not my inner child or my spiritual self, but just how I see myself but don't necessarily express myself. I've realized that my inner sense of fashion and being is somewhat bohemian hippie. I don't dress to that effect, nor do I act in that manner, but I suppose if I had to pick a visualization for what I want to embody, that is it. I'm not the fashion conscious girl to whom the words stylish, sophisticated or glamorous apply. I'm cute, funny, and a little bit quirky, and should I ever get married, it will be to someone who recognizes those qualities in me. I would rather be the recycling, earth conscious, natural fiber, "granola" type than the resident fashionista. I'm the girl who goes to the library every day on my lunch break because I love to read that much. And because the people there don't care much that I come in wearing my old style, slightly dorky-looking earmuffs.

The definition I like best for bohemian is "a nonconformist writer or artist who lives an unconventional life."

And this is the hippie I imagine: "someone who rejects the established culture."

There are other definitions for these words but I found they did not apply to what I see as myself. Not that these definitions particular define who I am at the moment, but perhaps who I want to be.
The definition of hippie reminds me of passage from "Tuesdays with Morrie."

"You have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own." I like that, and I think I've probably quoted it before.

My second musing is actually just a quote I like from a book I just finished reading. The book is "Rebuilt: How Becoming Part Computer Made Me More Human" by Michael Chorost, and I like what it says about life:

"Depending on your interests, you can go this way or that way, and if you choose to go that way, you will never find out what you might have discovered had you gone this way. Whichever way you choose, you will leave huge areas of the cave forever unexplored and unlit."

walking

In summer, walking is exercise. In winter, walking is an experience.
In summer, you throw on some shorts, socks and a t-shirt, a pair of runners and you're ready to go.
In winter, it goes like this...
leggings, tucked into socks
fleece pants over leggings
long sleeve t-shirt
short sleeve t-shirt
tech pants (sort of like ski pants)
t-shirt tucked into tech pants
sweatshirt
buff
balaclava
jacket with hood
runners
mittens.
And then you're ready to go.

Am I looking forward to Spring, warm weather, and clear sidewalks?
You betcha.
I figure if I can walk 7 kms in -30 degrees, bundled up like I'm walking to the North Pole, trying not to slip on the ice or be hit by a car, vainly trying to see through the one spot on my glasses that hasn't frozen over, walking 21 kms in May should not pose a problem.

The Three R's

I read an article in the paper this last week about resolutions and the 3 Rs - reduce, reuse, and recycle. Most people I know do pretty well with the recycle part, but the article encouraged increased participation in the other 2 as well. It was an affirmation of one of my resolutions for this new year - to be less of a consumer, and to reuse as much as I can.
As far as consumerism goes, I want to try to buy only those things that I need and specifically set out to buy - and not all the other junk I sometimes come home with; to spend less money on impulse purchases. This is for two reasons. One, I want to try and get back on a budget, which automatically means spending less, and two, I've just grown tired of having so much "stuff" in my house. I'm somewhat disorganized and am frequently frustrated at not being able to find things because they are buried somewhere under all that "stuff." I know if I just put things away I would be able to find them easier next time, but also I get tired of all the piles of stuff there is to put away.
As for reusing things, I'm trying to do this in small ways, like washing the disposable cutlery I use at work instead of throwing it out after one use. The article also suggested giving old magazines to places that could use them in their waiting rooms, instead of recycling them as soon as we're done with them. Also, it's time to go through my clothes and bring a bag to the Salvation Army. I also want to try shopping there more this year, in part to reuse clothing, and also to save some money. (And because my mom and sister always seem to find awesome stuff there for a fraction of the retail cost!)

So, having been challenged myself, I'll pass it along to you - reduce, reuse, and recycle in 2007!

Snow Day

What a blizzard. Icy roads blanketed in thick snow, white-out conditions, frozen up windshield. The drive home from work today was the most stressful driving experience of my life. Perhaps even one of the most stressful experiences I've had, period. I almost cried when I finally pulled into my parking spot, an hour and a half after leaving work (normally a 15-20 min drive). I was quite shaky and just had to sit there for a minute before getting out. I helped push someone into the parking lot shortly after I got home, and witnessed several other people helping to free stuck vehicles as well. It's nice to see people come together and help others when the going gets tough (or in this case, when the going gets cold and slippery).
I was also able to locate my shovel, which was buried deep in the snow in the backyard. I have a feeling I may need it tomorrow.
I'm feeling very thankful for a safe drive home and that I have a home to come to.

Done, I think.

I just finished reading my 41st book of the year. Titled "Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year," by Anne Lamott, it was 251 pages of pure, raw emotion. Lamott is 35 and single when she has a baby boy. The book is a record of her journey with Sam (her son) through his first year. As a former addict to both drugs and alcohol, and also a firm believer in God, she comes at life in a rather unconventional way. Her fear and pain bleed through the pages as she talks about her best friend getting cancer (she passes away a couple of months after Sam's 3rd birthday), about losing her dad to brain cancer many years earlier, and about how she longs for Sam to have a dad.
Interspersed with the fear, and the pain, and the worry, are the hilarious moments, and the incredibly precious moments. Lamott revels in her son's every new development - waving goodbye, learning to crawl, the first time he ate a plum, dancing, babbling from the carseat. There is a sense of urgency about her life, as she feels everything so deeply and experiences such great highs and lows in one year.
Definitely one of my favorite books of the last 12 months.

Advertising

I heard a commercial on the radio today:

"Self-indulgence is not a luxury, it's a necessity."

Makes me want to boycott radio and tv just to avoid all the "me-first, I-deserve-the-best-of-everything" advertising.

Self-indulgence has become a god in our culture these days. How often do you hear "indulge yourself" in one form or another throughout the day...be it expensive cars, a cottage at the lake, a day at the spa, a new flat panel LCD tv...or even something as simple as chocolate.

And I think all of these things are well and good, but slowly the message has become you deserve, no, you need these things. That's what I take issue with; not the thing itself, but the pressure to have it all.

Blessed

I am blessed.
I am blessed for so many reasons, but particularly at this time of year I am blessed because Christmas is a happy time for me.
I am blessed to have family close by with whom I will get together on Christmas day and eat, laugh, open presents, and share life with.
I am blessed by friends with whom I will also get together and eat, laugh, open presents and share life with.
I am blessed with great co-workers, and a job where I get a Christmas bonus. A job where we can get together and have a fantastic food day (such as today!); where people are easy-going this time of year and work just doesn't really seem like work for a little while.
I am blessed to go to an awesome church, where we will gather tomorrow night and celebrate God sending His Son to earth, and all the myriad things that means for us.
I am blessed.

Thankful

I feel thankful for so much...
my friends
my family
my job and my co-workers
my home (with the Christmas tree I put up tonight)
money to buy Christmas presents (I've enjoyed shopping a lot this year - how wonderful to have a time of year to celebrate the people in our lives)
my reliable car
my cat who makes me smile and keeps me company
my computer that allows me to keep in touch with friends
the thick frost that covered the trees on my way to church Sunday morning, along with the sundog in the sky (first time I'd ever seen one!)
and so much more...
Thank you God!

I love my cat

I love my cat.
Just thought I'd share that.
She came upstairs to find me, and is currently sitting on my lap, purring so loudly, her head resting between my hands as I type.
sigh....she likes me...she really likes me!

panicky

I can't believe it's already December 7. I know people are always talking about how fast time goes, but I think this is especially true in December. Every year I say I'm going to get all my shopping done early and take the whole month of December to celebrate the season, but here it is, already Dec 7 and my tree still isn't up. I don't have any lights or decorations put out yet, but am determined to get them up sometime between now and the end of Sunday. I have a few presents yet to buy, all of them to wrap, chocolates and cards to make and mail, and oh how I feel stress and panic trying to worm their way into my life.
So here's what I'm going to do. I am going to celebrate Christmas, every day for the next 18 or so days....in one way or another. Tonight I am going to read the Christmas story for the first (but probably not the last) time this month.
Merry Christmas.

Sandi Thom

I discovered a great new artist the other day on the Galaxy music channel - Sandi Thom. I heard her song "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker" and checked her out on iTunes. I bought the CD today and loved it the very first listen-through.
Awesome.

Driving Lessons

I almost ran myself over with my own car today. True Story.
I parked by the mailboxes, unclicked the part of my keychain that holds my mail key, got out and collected my mail.
Here's where it gets a little dicey.
As I was rounding the front of my car it started driving towards me. That's right. Towards me and also heading towards the huge metal garbage cans. Not even rolling. Driving. I opened the door and jumped in, jamming my foot on the brake, quite heroically I thought. (Although perhaps straining a groin muscle in the process.) Looking down, I realized that I had left the car in drive.
Yes...in drive.
Did I mention it took me three tries to get my driver's license?

It's all in the Adjectives

I was at Nutter's today buying chocolate melts for Nicole and me - it must be Christmas! Because it certainly is Winter. The ruts in the parking lot were, I'm sure, Olympic quality moguls. No kidding.

While at Nutter's I picked up some Real Brew Draft Root Beer, and boy was it good! I used to collect bottles of all sorts (which are now in storage at my parents' house) and I admit I was drawn to this particular beverage because of the description on the bottle:
" A complex flavour of sweet birch, licorice root, sarsaparilla, cinnamon, clove, anise, and wintergreen"
"A draft root beer unlike any other. To give our root beer a subtly rich, creamy flavour, we add pure bourbon vanilla to our recipe"
How could I not pick up a bottle?

I've recently discovered CBC Radio 3 (independent Canadian artists) on the internet, and one of the new songs I heard has been playing in my head ever since. It's by a group called Two Hours Traffic, and the song is "Better Sorry than Safe." It's got me thinking about risk taking, and how sometimes its better to take a chance and have it not work out than to be safe and never risk anything.

If You Are Wise

I was cleaning out my closet tonight when I found a poem I'd long forgotten, by William Arthur Ward. It's quite long so I won't reprint the whole thing, but it's called "If You Are Wise" and there are so many lines that challenge me. The three main themes are

If you are wise...
you will forget yourself into greatness
you will empty yourself into adventure
you will lose yourself into immortality.

Under each of these, the admonition to

Forget your inconveniences, but remember your blessings.
Empty your days of the search for security; fill them with a passion for service.
Lose your cynicism. Lose your doubts. Lose your fears. Lose your anxiety. Lose your unbelief.

Angels Unaware

I went for a walk tonight. It was beautiful out in a winter sort of way. During the last stretch of my walk I happened upon a vast expanse of unbroken snow with a slight crust on top, along the side of a small hill. "Perfect," I thought to myself. Perfect for making a snow angel. After looking around to make sure I had no spectators, I launched myself backwards into the snow and spread my arms. There is something wonderfully pure about playing in the snow, and I thought of my friend Kyla, who would surely approve of snow angels at night.
I lay there for a minute, then slowly got up and admired my handiwork. "It does look a bit like an angel," I thought, and smiled the rest of the way home.

Riding the Bus

For various reasons, I had to take the bus home after work today. Well, I shouldn't say I "had" to, it was more like I "got" to. With my fare money clutched tightly in my mittened hand, I felt like a child again. I noticed the late afternoon sun lighting up the taller buildings, felt the cold wind whip my hair around, felt alive for some reason I can't explain.
The bus driver was friendly, giving us updates on the time and weather over the speakers.
There were 2 ladies with mental disabilities riding near the front who were hilarious. In fact, I think they were the happiest people on the bus. When another bus passed us and the white-haired, smiling driver waved enthusiastically to these 2 ladies, they roared with laughter. They remind me of the lady in the book I'm reading right now entitled "Riding the Bus With My Sister." It's about a woman with cognitive disabilities who has chosen to spend her days riding the city buses where she lives, and for one year her sister decides to join her. Many are the stories of friendly bus drivers and the impact they have on people's lives. Maybe that's why today's ride home was so special - I was riding with an awareness of others and attempting to "tune in" to the bus culture.
Also, I felt connected in a way that just isn't possible sitting alone in traffic in my car.

Music Ministry

I just bought a new CD off of iTunes - The Crane Wife by The Decemberists.
I slipped on my headphones minutes ago and started listening and blogging.
It is music I can lose myself in. Such talent and creativity...
Praise be to God for giving us the gift of music.

Engage the Senses

I want to feel
the wind blowing my hair around
the melted snow running down my forehead
my nose getting red in the cold
the crisp air kissing my cheeks.

I want to indulge in Winter
to fight with it
and make it give something back to me.

I want to bundle up against the cold
go for a walk
and return hot and cold at the same time
refreshed and triumphant .

Light

This morning on my way to work I was just cresting a small hill (I live in Saskatchewan - all we have are small hills) when the clouds parted and the sun shone through with brilliance. The light was this perfect golden/pink morning light, and it made everything beautiful, including all the construction going on. It was like the curtains parted and the light bathed everything in goodness and beauty. For a few seconds I saw things in a different light.
When I got downtown, the bare trees and grey river seemed all the more bleak after my moment of golden light, and I thought about the difference light can make. A construction site - dirty and raw, made beautiful; A riverbank of trees flanking a grand river - dull and dreary.
Then I thought about the difference Light can make in our lives, transforming us from ordinary, worried, wearied, and worn-out people into people of radiant beauty.
And I wonder about the difference Light could make in our city. I wonder about how it could transform individuals, families, neighborhoods.
Every day when I read the paper, when I read about break-ins, stabbings, poverty, and vandalism I wonder what would happen if God's love flooded this city. I wonder what's possible. If God can do more than anything I could ask or imagine...well I can imagine a lot.
And God can do more than that?

Jungle Berries

You've Got Mail

I was looking on the USPS website to try and find out what kind of things can be sent throught the mail, when I discovered something interesting. Apparently you can mail animals, as long as they are not "injurious to human beings, agriculture, horticulture, forestry, wildlife, or the wildlife resources of the United States."

Huh. Mailing animals. Who would've thought.

The Running Around

The Amish are the modern-day Pharisees.

Hmmm...that seems like a judgmental statement doesn't it? Just the word "pharisee" conjures up a picture of hypocritical, self-righteous, excessively pious people; people who love to follow the rules by the letter but totally miss the heart of them.

I may be wrong in my comparison, and I realize it's a bit of a blanket statement that obviously wouldn't apply to all Amish, but I'm reading the book "Rumspringa" by Tom Shachtman and the similarities seemed to jump off the pages.

For instance:

"The unwritten list of them [rules], the ordnung, covers everything from the number of pins that an Amish woman may use to hold together her dress to the directive to defer to men's judgment in all-important matters to what constitutes improper fraternizing with the opposite sex."

They legislate the number of pins used to hold together a dress?!? How can this possibly be important? It seems so similar to all the rules the Pharisees made up, in addition to the moral laws given by God.

One girl remarked that her parents seemed more upset about her wearing jeans than about her going to parties.

Their practice of "Rumspringa" is also very interesting to me. This begins when a person turns 16 and lasts until they decide to be baptized and join the church. Technically the period is "to give youngsters leave and ways to find an appropriate mate. The community's expectation is that, upon completion of the courtship task, a young Amish couple will end their Rumspringa by agreeing to marry and concurrently making the commitment to be baptized."
That's technically what it's for, but many young Amish take the opportunity party wildly, getting drunk, smoking, doing drugs, etc. They go out on Friday, usually with English friends, and do not return home until Sunday night. It seems the attitude among many of the adults is that young people need to "get it all out of their system" before they can settle down to the traditional Amish life. Technically, because they haven't been baptized, they are not subject to the rules yet, and so this is all ok.
The letter of the law not the heart - go be wild because you haven't been baptized yet, but tomorrow when you are baptized, those things will be wrong.
Of course, not all young Amish behave this way - a lot simply go out with friends and enjoy some time away from their parents, having fun but not seeing the need to engage in rebellious behavior.
So, I don't know, maybe for some of them they need to try everything before they can make the decision to join the church. I understand that they want their youth to come to the church of their own free will, but perhaps the choice would not be so difficult if their rules were not so stringent.
I guess they are probably just trying to keep the world out of their lives, and maybe having a list of rules makes it easier for them. Keeping things black and white, allowing no "grey" areas, makes it easier to see if you're on the right path - you can check off the do's and don'ts and see how you're doing. There are no difficult decisions to make because the Order has already established a rule for just about every behavior.
I imagine the more I read the more I will learn about the "why" behind their way of life and there will be good things to it as well.

Jazz Pictures

"Often the photos were scratchy, the only copy of an image fixed near the
beginning of the twentieth century - but they contained such power. Today, of
course, images are reproduced digitally ad infinitum, and we are drowning in
them; they have in many ways lost their value...But these older images were
powerful and unique, often showing fold marks or tears; they had been smuggled
out of the past as if containing an important message that the past wanted us to
know. Whoever had held onto them had wanted them to endure. "

- "Why New Orleans is Important" The author is referring to old black and while photos of jazz musicians in the city.

This is what I desire in my photography. I want my pictures to be powerful and unique. I want them to mean something, somehow, 20 or 50 years from now. Together they tell a story of what I see, and how I see.

Falling Meditation

I had a wonderful lunch hour last week. It was, I think, the last really warm day of Fall and I spent it in Kiwanis park down by the river. I sat in the sun and read until I got too warm (imagine!) and then moved to a bench under one of my favorite trees. The sun was hot, the sky clear, and the leaves were positively golden. The breeze was so slight, just enough to stir the leaves and send them on their way.

And so I sat, watching the leaves dance through the air, thankful for everything God has given me; content just to be.

Ethereal

Literary Pull

So I've just about finished the last book that I took out of the library and had decided to read one of my own, but there were several on the "new book" shelf at the library that were calling my name, and I came home with 4 more books to read (all non-fiction). They are about donuts, New Orleans, Springtime, and starvation. Should make for some interesting and diverse reading.

Speedy Gonzales

Isabelle (my cat) can run a lot faster than I can.

It's one thing for me to know this, but something else entirely to have it witnessed by a stranger walking down the street.

That would be me tonight, running full tilt with Isabelle 15 feet in front of me, (the length of her lead) my arm stretched to the max while I try to keep up with her over grass and sidewalk, weaving around parked cars, and trying not to run into the above-mentioned stranger.

The thought of what we must have looked like (cat running as if from a house on fire, owner madly flapping along after her) made me smile. Even more so because I was wearing my biggest, fluffiest winter coat and my cheap-o earmuffs that stand out from my head a little but sure do keep my ears warm.

Leaving Soon

Haute Cuisine?

So I've finished reading The Scavenger's Guide to Haute Cuisine, albeit not while I was eating. For one year the author hunted, fished, caught, and otherwise scavenged for enough animals/fish/birds/creatures to create a 48 course meal from an old cookbook that he'd found (Le Guide Culinaire). He invited a bunch of friends to sample his creations via a Thanksgiving feast.
And what a feast it was...

wild boar headcheese
duck soup
turtle soup
crayfish mousse
souffle of goose liver and pheasant
pate of brandy-marinated cottontail rabbit and salted black bear fat
elk heart with bechamel sauce
tongue of wild boar with sauerkraut

These were just a few of the courses on the menu. Now, granted, I haven't tried any of these dishes and so cannot say that I wouldn't like them, but the mere thought of them just about gave me an upset stomach. I had to put the book down on numerous occasions when I was eating. (Yes, I read while I eat.) So, it was an interesting journey, and while I learned a lot about hunting and the journey food takes to get from "the wild" to my dinner plate, I think I'll stick with my white-meat turkey sandwiches for a little while longer.

Stumped

a walk in the woods

that's just not true

I've been reading a lot of non-fiction lately, and am starting to feel like reading a really good novel. So I've been looking for one at the library, (not sure what's wrong with the ones on my shelf at home...in fact I think I even have a couple of them started) and I'm finding that most fiction is so...well...false. So many writers write with so much detail that just isn't found in non-fiction that their novels immediately flash "fiction" with a bright neon sign. So I decided to look for a fiction book that isn't trying to be real. And I think I found one - JPod by Douglas Coupland. I read the first chapter (really short) at the library and decided to check it out. Well, I actually read the first few pages before chapter one, and that's when I decided to check out the book. On the page where the dedication usually is is the quote "Winners don't do drugs" by the director of the FBI. Then there are a few pages of words that I don't really understand the significance of, followed by 2 pages of really small stream-of-conscious writing, one page of dollar signs, finished off with a page of the words "ramen noodles" repeated over and over. It was the ramen noodles that sold me. [aside: my sister asked me recently how I choose the books I read and, well, that there is a pretty accurate description. Either the title or the cover art will draw me in, and then I'll read the first couple of pages and see if it hooks me. Pretty rare that a book will get me before chapter one, so I'm expecting this to be good.]

Now I just need the discipline to finish the (non-fiction) books I've already started...

Still Life with Chickens
The Coroner's Journal
The Scavenger's Guide to Haute Cuisine

Sensation

Isn't it funny how all of a sudden you can be aware of a sensation that you've probably felt a million times but never really noticed before? Like today, I suddenly noticed how sticky my lips get after eating an apple. Weird.

On a completely different note, I discovered (via Billboard magazine. I think. It could have also been Wired magazine) a cool site featuring music reviews, downloads, news, etc. It's called Pitchfork.

spaces

I like spaces in my life; spaces more than scheduling. Tonight was a perfect night in that respect. There was time to watch "House" on TV, time for laundry, time for reading, time for a bath, time for a bit of blogging. And spaces in between.

Windows

I'm reading a fascinating book right now called The Boy Who Loved Windows. It's about a child threatened with autism, and how his family worked to draw him out of his world and into ours.

What an incredible thing the mind is when it works properly, and what a scary thing it can be when it malfunctions even slightly. Reading this book has given me a fresh perspective on "reality" and how that differs for everyone. My perception of the world is unique to me, and is shaped by my experiences and my genetic makeup. Somehow this makes the world around me seem more ethereal, less defined. And, as the physical becomes tenuous, the spiritual world develops substance. Meeting in the middle, they now form a world redefined, one not subject to my presumptions.

Traveling

I would like to do some traveling, and these are the places I would like to see (for various reasons):

1. Wewahitchka, Florida. Particularly Smiley Apiaries.
2. Fairhope, Alabama. I would especially like to see Henry Stuart's house.
3. Savannah, Georgia. Especially the Mercer House.
4. Venice, Italy. I would really like to see some of Archimede Seguso's glassworks, and the ruins of the Fenice Opera House.

Two Thoughts Circling

I was talking with my sister yesterday about a book she's reading called "Waking the Dead," by John Eldridge. In one part Eldridge is talking about the eternal life we inherit when we become Christians, and he suggests that it is not something separate and different from the life we live right not, but merely a continuation.

Merely a continuation...

This, right here, right now, is the start of my eternal life. This is a HUGE thought for me...and one that's hard to hang onto throughout the day, but whenever it crosses my mind, I want to do things differently than how I am doing them presently.

What does this mean for me, if this very moment is part of my eternal life?

---

I watched a movie last night called "The Butterfly Effect." The movie is based on the idea that when a butterfly flaps its wings on one side of the world, it can cause a tornado on the other side - that is, all things are connected. The main character in the movie realizes that he can go back in time and change things, and so he does - but with terrible consequences. In seeking to right one wrong, he brings about other disastrous events.

Made me think about all the "what if's" in my life; about how one thing leads to another, and how our lives are put together one decision at a time.

This movie made me glad that we do not have the power to go back and change things, to play God, because we don't know everything. It made me think about the fact that there is an outcome to every decision we make, even if we won't see it for years, even if the decision seems small and inconsequential.

Music Found

Here's a great website that distributes indie music from the lesser-known greats:

www.cdbaby.com

And here is the link to a cool internet radio station that's run by a guy from the Polyjesters (from Alberta), and features bands that they've met on the road (read: good local-ish music!):

www.kitchenradio.ca

One note about the radio station though, is that I can only get it to play using itunes, and not window media player, so...just so you know.

simply said

"Without goodbyes, hellos wouldn't be so beautiful."

- from "There is Light" by Coco Love

Frost

Casting Crowns

I've been challenged by several songs on the Casting Crowns CD lately. (The old one.) Challenged, and moved to tears sometimes.

From "Here I go Again":

So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear
is tearin' at my words
What am I so afraid of?
'Cause here I go again
Talkin' 'bout the rain
And mullin' over things
that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance
to tell him that You love Him

and...

But how then will he know
What he has never heard?
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

So many times I find myself talking about things that just don't matter; things that won't live past today. And I wonder at my inability to talk about what's truly important.

From "If We are the Body":

Jesus paid much too high a price
for us to pick and choose who should come
and we are the Body of Christ.

True - the Gospel is for all people - not just those we deem worthy.

And finally, from "The Voice of Truth": (this one needs no explanation, for it's exactly how I feel)

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth
tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth
says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth
says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices
calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth
tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says,
"Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says,
"This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
the Voice of Truth

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

I'm not normally much of an outdoors person in Winter, but today I wanted to take some pictures of the frosty trees to send to my sponsor child who lives in Honduras. (Reasonably thinking that he's probably never seen snow.)
So away I went, (to Lakeview Park because there are no trees in my immediate neighborhood). And it was wonderful. My legs and fingers slowly numbing from the cold, my pantlegs wet from trudging through snow off the beaten (shoveled) path, my ears toasty warm thanks to my uber-fashionable earmuffs, and my appreciation of nature duly restored. (Isn't it wonderful that my appreciation of nature can be restored in the middle of a city?) So I took my pictures, close ups and "group shots" if you will, of the beautiful frost-laden trees. And heading back to my car, only one thought was in my mind - Winter is so beautiful. Clean. Crisp. Pure. Wonderful. Praise God for seasons.
Okay maybe there were two thoughts occupying my grey matter. The other was that I am a bit of a details person. Most of the shots I took today were close-ups, the frosty designs of nature. I was reminded of the saying, "God is in the details" and I think sometimes that's right. A panorama of frozen trees is beautiful, but up close it's unbelievable. Snow fallen in such intricate patterns you just know it isn't a totally random act.
And with that thought, I was homeward bound.
[Climbing back into my car, I realized that somewhere along the way I had broken my jacket zipper and was now stuck with my coat up around my ears. Oh well. One paperclip later and I was spared having to live out my days in Board Dokter fashion.]
Here's wishing you a wondrous winter day, filled with frosty delights.

Grace Awakening

I'm reading about grace right now, in Philip Yancey's book, "What's so Amazing About Grace?", and discovering that EVERYTHING about grace is amazing. From the depth of God's grace to the sheer lack of it in myself.
Particularly when I'm driving. One of my pet peeves is when one lane of traffic is closed off for construction, and there are signs announcing this fact several kilometers in advance, AND STILL people speed along in the soon-to-be-closed lane and expect to be let in at the very last minute. I want to shout at them, "don't you know that YOU'RE the one holding up traffic, because people have to stop and let you in?!? If you'd just get in line like everybody else, we could all get where we're going a lot faster!" My main thought being, you don't deserve to be let in if you don't want to follow the rules. Not too much grace there.
Not when

"...in the realm of grace the word deserve does not even apply." (pg 62)

Hmmm...the word deserve does not even apply. This rails against everything in me. And, I think, most people. We get angry when someone gets less jail time than they deserve for committing a crime. Most people think they deserve to get paid more, or have a big house, fancy car, and exotic vacations. Think about the McDonald's slogan "you deserve a break today." What does that say? You've worked hard - you deserve a rest. Sure, I have no problem with that. I have no problem with people getting what they deserve. It's when they get more or less than they deserve that I start thinking "that's not fair!" (And how should I know what they deserve anyway? But that's a whole different blog...) Kind of like Jesus' parable about the workers who all received the same pay, even though some worked 12 hours and some worked only 1.

"They could not accept that their employer had the right to do what he wanted with his money when it meant paying scoundrels twelve times what they deserved." (pg 63, italics mine.)

But God's grace is not about being fair. It's not about earning his rewards, or deserving anything. It's simply about his wanting to give good gifts to all - even those who don't deserve them (in our eyes). But maybe that's the point. When I read the story, I always think that I'm one of the deserving ones, but maybe I'm not. And if I'm not one of the deserving ones, than I should be humbled and thankful, because I don't deserve what I've been given.

And maybe that's the whole point.

Lend a Helping Hand

Philip Yancey is fast becoming one of my favorite authors. I am currently reading "In the Likeness of God" which is co-written by Dr. Paul Brand. Dr. Brand was a leading leprosy doctor, and he uses his tremendous insight into how the body works to explain how the Body of Christ (the church) should work. While every chapter has given me pause, there is one story in particular that has stuck with me.
It is the story of a Frenchman named Abbe Pierre. He was a Catholic friar assigned to work among the beggars after World War II. As help was slow in coming, and most people were not interested in the plight of the beggars, he set about showing them how to do their tasks better. Then he led them to build a warehouse and start a business. "Finally, Pierre inspired each beggar by giving him responsibility to help another beggar poorer than himself...After years of this work in Paris, there were no beggars left in that French city."

Can you imagine the impact in our own city if each person set out to help someone poorer than themselves?

But get this - Pierre came to see Dr. Brand at his leprosy hospital in India because he had a problem:

" 'I must find somebody for my beggars to help!' he declared and had begun searching in other places around the world. It was during one of those trips that he had come to Vellore. He concluded by describing his dilemma. 'If I don't find people worse off than my beggars, this movement could turn inward. They'll become a powerful, rich organization and the whole spiritual impact will be lost! They'll have no one to serve.' "

Lyrical Musings

I've been pondering the following lyric from the new Switchfoot album...

"The shadow proves the sunshine"

from the song of the same title.

---

Also thinking about the following...

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
That right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome to wherever you are

Be who you want to be
Be who you are
Everyone's a hero
Everyone's a star
When you want to give up and you heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes

Snowbirds

Animals

At the end of a long day, I like coming home to my cat. Sometimes animals are so easy to be with compared to people. There are no politics to deal with. You feed them and play with them, and they love you. Simple as that.

Bloom

Little Princess

Contemplating

I like listening to music in my car. It provides the perfect environment for really listening. There is nothing else you need to be doing, aside from driving of course. You can't really do this at home, where it's hard to justify sitting on the couch doing nothing but listening to music for 1/2 an hour.
Lately I've had a worship CD playing in my car, and there's one song that's been cycling through my head over and over. It's a remake of a classic, called The Wonderful Cross. (Which is a bit of an oxymoron to me - but that's a whole other line of thought.)
The verse that I've been contemplating is this:

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

I wish I could somehow insert the track here, so that you could hear it, because it's so much more powerful than just reading the words. But nevertheless, it's the words that have captured my thoughts...

Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all

In the Know

"For I know the plans I have for you..."

Of course God knows the plans He has for you, but don't you wish sometimes that you knew the plans as well? I feel as though I am coming to the point of knowing...

More on this in the days to come.

Lobelia

Timepiece

Running

lacing up my shoes

perfect fit

anticipation

warm sun and cool breeze

legs pumping

lungs working

possibilities

everything is possible

everything is positive

exertion

and accomplishment

Good, Not Safe

Throughout the summer, Pastor Brad has been doing a series in church called "Got Wisdom?" and it has been fantastic. I don't typically take notes of the whole sermon because the complete text is posted online on our church's website (www.lakeviewchurch.com). I do, however, write down thoughts that stand out to me, that I want to take home and digest. As I was rummaging through my purse this last week I found a crumpled up bulletin from a couple of weeks ago, and the thought I'd written down jumped out at me and has been floating around in my head ever since.

"God is not safe, but he is good."

The sermon was based on the fear of God being the beginning of wisdom, and one of Brad's points was why we should fear God. That being - because he is not safe. When you look around at all that God is doing and has done, safety does not seem to be His main priority. But because he is also good, we can trust Him implicitly.

Not safe...but good.

Reflection

urban landscape

Winston's

geranium

Web Preserved

(I didn't take the original photo, but merely modified it)

Goldenweb

(I didn't take the original photo, but merely modified it)

...And if You Swallow One?

So...West Nile hey? I've tried to avoid mosquito bites as much as possible, but can you get West Nile from swallowing a mosquito? Say, if you were walking down the street and you had the (rather gross) misfortune of having one fly into your mouth and down your throat?
Just wondering...

2nd Avenue Sidewalk Sale

Today was the first day of the 2nd Ave Sidewalk Sale. I took my lunch hour to peruse the goods displayed all along 2nd Avenue, basking in the sunshine while meandering from booth to booth. I love street fairs. The sun, the music, the aroma of street meat...and the deals.
I found The Neverending Story on VHS. This was one of my all-time favorite movies as a kid, and I'm looking forward to watching it again. I'm sure it will be completely different from what I remember, as most things are when you experience them again as an adult. But nevertheless, you can't go too wrong with a $5 movie.
Also, I found a store selling used books for $1-$5, so I picked up a few. One of them was bought (almost) purely for name's sake - The Frumious Bandersnatch. Now if that doesn't peak your interest...

And that is how I enjoyed my lunch hour today.

Worlds Apart

I'm reading a book right now called "Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson."

The other night I watched an episode of the new reality show "Who Wants to be a Hilton."

What a difference between these two!

The Hilton show is all about how to fit in in high society - how to act, what to wear, what to say. In a word - superficial. And the book is about what becomes important to a man when he is preparing for death. While there are so many ideas in the book to stop and make you think, I'll offer this latest one that I read today because it is such a contradiction to the Hilton tv show.

"We've got a form of brainwashing going on in our country...do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it - and have it repeated to us - over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore."

As aptly shown on tv. And in magazines. And every form of media really. So what do we do with this then?

"You have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own."

I love that line.

And with that unfinished thought, I'll head off to bed, and hopefully write more tomorrow.

My Heart Will Choose to Say

We sang this song in church this past Sunday, and it's still echoing in my head. It's a simple song, but the more I think about what it means, the more meaning it takes on.

Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in , Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name

Just be a Tourist

I did a little walking downtown today. I needed to pick up an attachment for my vacuum and thought it would be easier to walk than to find parking. (As it turns out it was quite a bit further than I thought, and I could have found parking, but then I would have missed this moment.) Eventually I arrived at the vacuum store and found and paid for the part. Then I was offered a cookie. That's right - a homemade cookie. That would be a first I think; being offered homebaked goodies in a vacuum store. Or any store for that matter. Now I have to admit that upon hearing the offer of a cookie, my first thought was, "don't take candy from strangers" and close on the heels of that was "but she's probably not going to poison her customers." So I took the cookie. And it was good. And then I had my moment.

I was walking back to work, the sun was shining brilliantly, and I felt for a brief moment like a tourist walking through the downtown of an unknown city. This is a wonderful feeling. You have no pre-conceived notions about anything, and everything is interesting. I had the desire to peek in little shops I'd never been in, and perhaps try the little Chinese food restaurant on the corner. I admired the old buildings, window shopped a little, and hoped that I would make the time to come back downtown one day this summer and just be a tourist.

The Artist

I was recently in Victoria, BC for a weekend, and I had the chance to wander around downtown, going here and there and wherever my heart desired. I happened upon a craft market that stretched for several blocks, and was filled with an amazing assortment of crafts, artwork, jewelry, soaps, woodwork, gadgets, books, and just about anything a person could think of. It was all very good quality, and I had the fortune of speaking with some of the people selling their wares. While they were all very interesting, one in particular stood out to me. He is a Metis artist who rendered some of the best pencil drawings I have ever seen. The detail and life in the pictures at first had me believing they were photos. Upon closer inspection I could see that they were indeed drawings. The artist was quite a quiet man, and was drawing a new picture as he sat by his kiosk. He spoke fondly of the people in his pictures, both those historical figures and those still alive. I regret not having bought a picture, and if I am ever back in Victoria I hope that he will be there again, selling his art.

Sunday

As the weekend is almost officially over, I now pronounce it good. I went to bed early Friday night, and woke up early Saturday morning. I ate my breakfast on the balcony, enjoying the sunshine and happily chirping birds. What a great way to start a productive day. I saw the Broadway production "Grease" in the evening, which was good. Not spectacular, but good.
And then came Sunday.
Today was a great day. Church was awesome - the service was done entirely by the kids. They sang, and acted, and ushered and put on a wonderful production of "Cool in the Furnace" - the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Then I went to Mom and Dad's for Mother's Day, and had a wonderful afternoon. The highlight of my weekend may well have been flying paper airplanes in the backyard with my nephew. The evening was calm and the temperature moderate - that perfect "not-so-hot-and-not-so-cold" in between temperature.
And now it's time for bed, and so another week begins...