Sunday, May 04, 2008

I Believe...I don't want to run anymore

Each year, (all 2 of them), I seem to have a theme song for when I run. A particular song that I play when I need a little audio encouragement. This year it is Believe by Suzie McNeil.

If you just believe
You can move mountains with dreams
The higher you climb
The better it gets
Cause you will see things
You'll never forget

and particularly the following verse:

No one says it's easy
And no one says you have to be perfect
But as long as you try
You're always gonna find
It was worth it

Today was my toughest run yet. I just had no juice in the tank. Tired from the word go, by the halfway point (9 km or so) I was running on fumes. I blame it on not eating enough for breakfast, not drinking quite enough, the heat, and not putting in the training time during the week. Surprisingly, I had no specific sore points, and my feet felt better than they have during any of my past long runs. However I had to give in and walk more than I usually do, putting me 9 minutes slower than my projected time.
By the time my condo came into view I was ready to pack it in and never run again. I'm starting to feel better now that I've had time to rest and shower and reflect on what went wrong.
I did a lot of thinking about what I like about running, and I think the greatest thing I've come away with so far, is that running has taught me a few things. It's taught me that I can do more than I think I can; that willpower counts for a lot. (I ran the last half of my training run today on nothing more than that.) I've learned that when things go wrong, or get difficult, you have a choice to pack it in or to keep going - it's a specific choice that has to be made, and if you choose to keep going, you'll be stronger for it. I've used this lesson in other areas of my life lately, which makes my running seem even more worthwhile.
Today I think I learned about wisdom. That while sometimes you have to make the choice to push on, you also have to know when to step back and admit that things aren't going as well as you'd hoped, and make adjustments accordingly.
All in all then, my run today was not a total failure, as I came away with another lesson learned.
And also my first sunburn of the year.

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