Sensation

Isn't it funny how all of a sudden you can be aware of a sensation that you've probably felt a million times but never really noticed before? Like today, I suddenly noticed how sticky my lips get after eating an apple. Weird.

On a completely different note, I discovered (via Billboard magazine. I think. It could have also been Wired magazine) a cool site featuring music reviews, downloads, news, etc. It's called Pitchfork.

spaces

I like spaces in my life; spaces more than scheduling. Tonight was a perfect night in that respect. There was time to watch "House" on TV, time for laundry, time for reading, time for a bath, time for a bit of blogging. And spaces in between.

Windows

I'm reading a fascinating book right now called The Boy Who Loved Windows. It's about a child threatened with autism, and how his family worked to draw him out of his world and into ours.

What an incredible thing the mind is when it works properly, and what a scary thing it can be when it malfunctions even slightly. Reading this book has given me a fresh perspective on "reality" and how that differs for everyone. My perception of the world is unique to me, and is shaped by my experiences and my genetic makeup. Somehow this makes the world around me seem more ethereal, less defined. And, as the physical becomes tenuous, the spiritual world develops substance. Meeting in the middle, they now form a world redefined, one not subject to my presumptions.

Traveling

I would like to do some traveling, and these are the places I would like to see (for various reasons):

1. Wewahitchka, Florida. Particularly Smiley Apiaries.
2. Fairhope, Alabama. I would especially like to see Henry Stuart's house.
3. Savannah, Georgia. Especially the Mercer House.
4. Venice, Italy. I would really like to see some of Archimede Seguso's glassworks, and the ruins of the Fenice Opera House.

Two Thoughts Circling

I was talking with my sister yesterday about a book she's reading called "Waking the Dead," by John Eldridge. In one part Eldridge is talking about the eternal life we inherit when we become Christians, and he suggests that it is not something separate and different from the life we live right not, but merely a continuation.

Merely a continuation...

This, right here, right now, is the start of my eternal life. This is a HUGE thought for me...and one that's hard to hang onto throughout the day, but whenever it crosses my mind, I want to do things differently than how I am doing them presently.

What does this mean for me, if this very moment is part of my eternal life?

---

I watched a movie last night called "The Butterfly Effect." The movie is based on the idea that when a butterfly flaps its wings on one side of the world, it can cause a tornado on the other side - that is, all things are connected. The main character in the movie realizes that he can go back in time and change things, and so he does - but with terrible consequences. In seeking to right one wrong, he brings about other disastrous events.

Made me think about all the "what if's" in my life; about how one thing leads to another, and how our lives are put together one decision at a time.

This movie made me glad that we do not have the power to go back and change things, to play God, because we don't know everything. It made me think about the fact that there is an outcome to every decision we make, even if we won't see it for years, even if the decision seems small and inconsequential.

Music Found

Here's a great website that distributes indie music from the lesser-known greats:

www.cdbaby.com

And here is the link to a cool internet radio station that's run by a guy from the Polyjesters (from Alberta), and features bands that they've met on the road (read: good local-ish music!):

www.kitchenradio.ca

One note about the radio station though, is that I can only get it to play using itunes, and not window media player, so...just so you know.

simply said

"Without goodbyes, hellos wouldn't be so beautiful."

- from "There is Light" by Coco Love

Frost

Casting Crowns

I've been challenged by several songs on the Casting Crowns CD lately. (The old one.) Challenged, and moved to tears sometimes.

From "Here I go Again":

So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear
is tearin' at my words
What am I so afraid of?
'Cause here I go again
Talkin' 'bout the rain
And mullin' over things
that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance
to tell him that You love Him

and...

But how then will he know
What he has never heard?
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

So many times I find myself talking about things that just don't matter; things that won't live past today. And I wonder at my inability to talk about what's truly important.

From "If We are the Body":

Jesus paid much too high a price
for us to pick and choose who should come
and we are the Body of Christ.

True - the Gospel is for all people - not just those we deem worthy.

And finally, from "The Voice of Truth": (this one needs no explanation, for it's exactly how I feel)

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth
tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth
says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth
says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices
calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth
tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says,
"Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says,
"This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
the Voice of Truth

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

I'm not normally much of an outdoors person in Winter, but today I wanted to take some pictures of the frosty trees to send to my sponsor child who lives in Honduras. (Reasonably thinking that he's probably never seen snow.)
So away I went, (to Lakeview Park because there are no trees in my immediate neighborhood). And it was wonderful. My legs and fingers slowly numbing from the cold, my pantlegs wet from trudging through snow off the beaten (shoveled) path, my ears toasty warm thanks to my uber-fashionable earmuffs, and my appreciation of nature duly restored. (Isn't it wonderful that my appreciation of nature can be restored in the middle of a city?) So I took my pictures, close ups and "group shots" if you will, of the beautiful frost-laden trees. And heading back to my car, only one thought was in my mind - Winter is so beautiful. Clean. Crisp. Pure. Wonderful. Praise God for seasons.
Okay maybe there were two thoughts occupying my grey matter. The other was that I am a bit of a details person. Most of the shots I took today were close-ups, the frosty designs of nature. I was reminded of the saying, "God is in the details" and I think sometimes that's right. A panorama of frozen trees is beautiful, but up close it's unbelievable. Snow fallen in such intricate patterns you just know it isn't a totally random act.
And with that thought, I was homeward bound.
[Climbing back into my car, I realized that somewhere along the way I had broken my jacket zipper and was now stuck with my coat up around my ears. Oh well. One paperclip later and I was spared having to live out my days in Board Dokter fashion.]
Here's wishing you a wondrous winter day, filled with frosty delights.

Grace Awakening

I'm reading about grace right now, in Philip Yancey's book, "What's so Amazing About Grace?", and discovering that EVERYTHING about grace is amazing. From the depth of God's grace to the sheer lack of it in myself.
Particularly when I'm driving. One of my pet peeves is when one lane of traffic is closed off for construction, and there are signs announcing this fact several kilometers in advance, AND STILL people speed along in the soon-to-be-closed lane and expect to be let in at the very last minute. I want to shout at them, "don't you know that YOU'RE the one holding up traffic, because people have to stop and let you in?!? If you'd just get in line like everybody else, we could all get where we're going a lot faster!" My main thought being, you don't deserve to be let in if you don't want to follow the rules. Not too much grace there.
Not when

"...in the realm of grace the word deserve does not even apply." (pg 62)

Hmmm...the word deserve does not even apply. This rails against everything in me. And, I think, most people. We get angry when someone gets less jail time than they deserve for committing a crime. Most people think they deserve to get paid more, or have a big house, fancy car, and exotic vacations. Think about the McDonald's slogan "you deserve a break today." What does that say? You've worked hard - you deserve a rest. Sure, I have no problem with that. I have no problem with people getting what they deserve. It's when they get more or less than they deserve that I start thinking "that's not fair!" (And how should I know what they deserve anyway? But that's a whole different blog...) Kind of like Jesus' parable about the workers who all received the same pay, even though some worked 12 hours and some worked only 1.

"They could not accept that their employer had the right to do what he wanted with his money when it meant paying scoundrels twelve times what they deserved." (pg 63, italics mine.)

But God's grace is not about being fair. It's not about earning his rewards, or deserving anything. It's simply about his wanting to give good gifts to all - even those who don't deserve them (in our eyes). But maybe that's the point. When I read the story, I always think that I'm one of the deserving ones, but maybe I'm not. And if I'm not one of the deserving ones, than I should be humbled and thankful, because I don't deserve what I've been given.

And maybe that's the whole point.

Lend a Helping Hand

Philip Yancey is fast becoming one of my favorite authors. I am currently reading "In the Likeness of God" which is co-written by Dr. Paul Brand. Dr. Brand was a leading leprosy doctor, and he uses his tremendous insight into how the body works to explain how the Body of Christ (the church) should work. While every chapter has given me pause, there is one story in particular that has stuck with me.
It is the story of a Frenchman named Abbe Pierre. He was a Catholic friar assigned to work among the beggars after World War II. As help was slow in coming, and most people were not interested in the plight of the beggars, he set about showing them how to do their tasks better. Then he led them to build a warehouse and start a business. "Finally, Pierre inspired each beggar by giving him responsibility to help another beggar poorer than himself...After years of this work in Paris, there were no beggars left in that French city."

Can you imagine the impact in our own city if each person set out to help someone poorer than themselves?

But get this - Pierre came to see Dr. Brand at his leprosy hospital in India because he had a problem:

" 'I must find somebody for my beggars to help!' he declared and had begun searching in other places around the world. It was during one of those trips that he had come to Vellore. He concluded by describing his dilemma. 'If I don't find people worse off than my beggars, this movement could turn inward. They'll become a powerful, rich organization and the whole spiritual impact will be lost! They'll have no one to serve.' "

Lyrical Musings

I've been pondering the following lyric from the new Switchfoot album...

"The shadow proves the sunshine"

from the song of the same title.

---

Also thinking about the following...

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
That right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome to wherever you are

Be who you want to be
Be who you are
Everyone's a hero
Everyone's a star
When you want to give up and you heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes

Snowbirds

Animals

At the end of a long day, I like coming home to my cat. Sometimes animals are so easy to be with compared to people. There are no politics to deal with. You feed them and play with them, and they love you. Simple as that.

Bloom

Little Princess

Contemplating

I like listening to music in my car. It provides the perfect environment for really listening. There is nothing else you need to be doing, aside from driving of course. You can't really do this at home, where it's hard to justify sitting on the couch doing nothing but listening to music for 1/2 an hour.
Lately I've had a worship CD playing in my car, and there's one song that's been cycling through my head over and over. It's a remake of a classic, called The Wonderful Cross. (Which is a bit of an oxymoron to me - but that's a whole other line of thought.)
The verse that I've been contemplating is this:

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

I wish I could somehow insert the track here, so that you could hear it, because it's so much more powerful than just reading the words. But nevertheless, it's the words that have captured my thoughts...

Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all

In the Know

"For I know the plans I have for you..."

Of course God knows the plans He has for you, but don't you wish sometimes that you knew the plans as well? I feel as though I am coming to the point of knowing...

More on this in the days to come.

Lobelia